Oh what a year it has been. Filled with lots of good moments and some not so good moments. Life is all about balance. So, Let's do a little recap on this monumental year of mine. Let's take it back to January, I was still in high school at the time; just finishing applying for colleges. School was rough; I was just trying to make it through the day and every chance I got I would escape to New York and visit friends. I met one of my best friends in late December as well ( Ellie). January was the beginning of our blossoming friendship and we saw each other almost every chance we got. I got more in touch with my creative side and truly started to feel like an artist..
Now onto February, the month of love. Valentines day is my favorite holiday yet I had no valentine this year. Although I do have many people i celebrated this valentines day. It is all about spreading love to others. romantic or not. In late February I headed up to vermont with my 3 lovely friends and I took shrooms for the first time. It wasn't as intense as I thought it was going to be but It was a good time. Lots of laughter occurred that day. I also visited my grandma in Boston. It was a sweet little trip and I learned a-lot about my grandma and her life. I find as I get older I am learning to appreciate my family history a lot more.
March march march. My least favorite month I hate to admit it. It is cold and dreary. More dreary than any other month of the year. This march wasn't so bad though. It was filled with lots of planning and meetings for the worldofmyown fashion show. I started apartment hunting this month as well. How surreal it all was. Liz and I took a trip to Miami this month. We had a blast. It is crazy to me how we met on the internet and now we go on trips together. The world is a stange place.
Next up: April. It twas a hectic month. I was doing lots of shoots to build my portfolio and I finally started to get paid for photography. I got into parsons which was a huge accomplishment. I never thought I would attend college or let alone get into one. April was also filled with a lot of planning just as march was. I worked super hard this month ironing out every little details for the fashion show I was having in may, which consisted of finalizing the collection, coordinating with other vendors and promoting the fuck out of the event. Exciting times.
May; The months of all months. The weather started to get warmer and everyone seemed to smile a little brighter. I was hardly attending school at this point and I was itching to graduate. The fashion show ended up turning out better than I could've ever imagined; as did the pop up. There was a line out the door and it was so dreamlike. I can't wait to have another one. Miko (my kitty) also became apart of the family in may. I found him on craiglists one morning and traveled to Staten Island that afternoon. As may was coming to a close I started to prepare to move into my apartment, packing up boxes and thrifting every chance to make sure my apartment was as homey as possible-
June rolls around and it is time to move in.. My lovely friend Tim drove me and my stuff into the city (along with my parents) and trecked up 5 floors of stairs alongside me to decorate my silly little apartment. Sheded a few tears along the way but I was ready to start my new life. The days were getting hotter by the minute in New York and Summer was finally starting. I graduated this month too. I threw my cap off my head and decided to never look back. Finally out of there. I escaped!!! June had to be one of my favorite months. I constantly had my friends coming in and out of new york to stay with me and I experienced lots of new things. The thrill of living on my own kicked in. I would wake up everyday around 9, grab my favorite smoothie from my favorite cafe 2 blocks down, bring a book to tompkins and read for a couple hours: Those days felt perfect.
July! My birthday month. My 18th birthday!!! As soon as I turned 18 that whole month felt pretty hectic. Adulthood hit me like a truck. I was pretty stressed throughout this month. Although one thing that brought me out of misery was attending one of my favorite bands in concert; Beach house.
By the time august rolled around. The summer haze I was in disappeared. Real life was catching up to me. All the comforts in my life were leaving one way or another. My friends were all going off to their separate schools, the realization that I no longer live with my parents hit me and I was coming to terms with the fact that there is no going backwards in life; no matter how much you might want to. Although these negative feelings were passing through me every where I turned, I persisted. My friends and I went up to Vermont for one last hooray. I took one too many shrooms I think. Though the experience was beautiful and it felt like a little send off into the great big world my friends and I were all heading into. School started this month and it brought me intense anxiety and other mental health struggles. My parents had to come in New York and stay for a couple days as it felt my world was crashing down. Very thankful for them. I am not good with change.
Wake me up when September ends. The month of September was a doozy. I was still feeling unadjusted to my new life. School was harder than I thought it was gonna be. The work felt foreign and I was so confused on how I even got in.. I felt very lonely at this point and my self esteem was crashing and burning.. I did throw a little party with all the first years at my school to bring my spirits up and try to get more involved in my school community. I didn't dorm and I felt very left out of all the college experiences everyone was seeming to have. The "mixer" or whatever you wanna call it went fine.I was stressed but tried to make the most of it. Being a host is hard. Moving on, I attended my first ever NYFW week show this September. It was so inspiring. Watching the show made me remember how exciting the journey I am on is and made the funk I was in a little more tolerable.
October comes in swinging: One of my favorite months or maybe THE favorite?. Things got better in October, slowly but surely as they say. I started to make more connections with others and felt more comfortable in my every day life.. School was starting to flow a little more and I started to create more personal work again. I was getting back in touch with myself. I ended up getting a new therapist and was finally attacking my mental health struggles. Things were starting to click....
Ok now onto November: A time of confusion.. I was a busy bee this month. I got my samples back for worldofmyown and started to shoot for it. Creating is so fulfilling for me. I did my first topless shoot and felt extremely empowered. Being naked is fun. It's our natural state anyway. This month I was getting into a real groove with school , my social life , and all the other aspects of my so called life and Then.... my school went on strike. Lol. So my groove I was getting in came to a screeching halt. I did take the time to be productive and shoot a lot but this time was filled with so much uncertainty. Not knowing when school will start up again and figuring out what to do every day was hard. I didn't wanna waste any time.
Now we are currently in December. It has been a fun little month so far. I filmed my first short film and have been editing it nonstop these past two weeks. My school is no longer on strike but the semester ended already so I didn't really have school for the past month (not exactly how I thought my first semester would go). I had a cute little first Christmas with my roommate Madison and now I am back home in long island for the night writing my silly little blog. I am flying to California tmo morning for a family vacation. I am beyond ready to relax and reset for the new year. 2023 is going to bring in positivity and success for me.
big things coming. I can feel it.
That is my little year recap (or not so little). This year has been filled with self discovery, love, loneliness and abundance. One thing I have learned this year is to make it all count. Put full force into everything you do and you will receive results. Also self love will heal you and make life a whole lot easier. Be nice to others and yourself.
My word for 2023 is flow. I highly recommend each person to pick one word for the upcoming year. If you do pick a word please share I would love to hear! Ok i am signing off. See you next year.
Love - Syd
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